Insomniac Thoughts...

It's a mystery all the things we think we know.
So many un-answered questions, so many things still left to learn.
Will we ever make it out of here alive?
Or will we follow the world and just simply die?
You know the words inside my head, but do you really know me?
The person on the inside is different than the outside imposter.
Keep yourself guessing what is next.
Hold your breath and be ready to swim.
I'm tied and bound to this mind set of impossible dreams.
I never thought about what is left for me.
But I have thought about what is already gone.
So much is lost,
so little is gained.
Lessons are never learned, only shown briefly just to float away,
into the night,
into the storm, to someday return to you.
I've questioned God over and over again.
Not an answer,
maybe I'm not listening hard enough.
Or maybe...
I'm just not looking for the answers in the right places.
I've trapped myself it seems.
Like a mouse hungry enough to tempt death.
A slow climb out of this narrow six foot deep body shaped trench.
Clawing through the mud and rocks.
Just to make it to the top and be kicked right back down.
Where did everything go wrong?
Lost so many days,
lost so many nights where I could have slept.
Instead...here I remain,
awake and aware,
drained and beaten.
Too afraid to even move forward, just frozen in the moment where things seem a little bit okay.
This feeling is new and old at the same time.
Exciting to see what's coming next,
but so scared to even look.
I just hope I don't blink when it comes flying by....